booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize