I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
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She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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