I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
