the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
