I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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