You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
