Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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