trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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