maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
