Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
