C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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