I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
