I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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