you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
