I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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