check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
