i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
bring money and cleavage
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
