the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
