hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
