Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
