who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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