69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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