Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
