i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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