I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
