There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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