you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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