Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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