The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
