We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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