Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
