somebody snuck up and got me drunk
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
