how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
