so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
