Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
