I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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