I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I'm bleeding and have questions
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