I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
