I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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