And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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