i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
