This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
