I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
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