a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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