Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize