vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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