We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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