He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
