Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
