yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize