Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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