I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
