At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
ok first of all what the fuck
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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