who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize