We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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