In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
