You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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