I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
