Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
