Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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