North Korea, Best Korea!
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
