If i come over, it means nothing
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
