I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
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