Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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