i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize