are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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